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UNTAMED NEWSLETTER #4 - MAY 8, 2006
The Evolution of Rational-Emotional Integrative Updating
In the last Untamed Newsletter I discussed certain website changes that I am making regarding increasing access to learning Rational-Emotional Integrative Updating (REIU), the method that I developed to enable people to enhance their untaming process and self-actualization. In this newsletter I would like to give some additional information about REIU and its evolution in order to further clarify the value and role that I perceive it to have.
I came from a multi disciplinary educational background and throughout my medical training I had a passion for behavioral medicine. I almost went into psychiatry but chose family medicine instead, in large part because I had an interest in treating the whole person rather than specializing in one organ system and felt that this specialty would best enable me to do so. I do not regret that decision. Family medicine gave me ample opportunity to deal with behavioral problems but I found that, despite my interest, I had received very limited instruction during my medical training regarding how best to deal with these issues.
By 1987 I had been working as a family doctor in a small Canadian town already for several years. A fellow family physician in my community had been using hypnotherapy within his practice and had repeatedly told me and anyone else who would listen about how fascinating and helpful hypnosis was to him. I was very skeptical about hypnosis, but that year the Ontario Society of Clinical Hypnosis was putting on one of its regular introductory courses for doctors and dentists and so, out of curiosity, I registered for it. That was one of the best decisions of my life.
What was particularly serendipitous for me was the quality of instructors that put on that weekend course. There were four or five in total, all of whom were excellent, but two in particular have had a prolonged and significant impact upon me and my career.
First of all there was David Craig. Dr. Craig was (he is now deceased) a family physician who, by the time I met him, was practicing hypnotherapy on a full-time basis. At the course he told a story which opened up a whole new world for me. It was the story of the lady who was afraid of dogs and I recall it well.
This lady was a patient of Dr. Craig's who was in her forties when she came to see him. She had an overwhelming fear of dogs to the extent that just seeing or hearing a dog on television or while driving in a car set her off into a state of panic. She had this phobia for longer than she could remember. She had seen numerous psychologists and psychiatrists and had discussed the topic in depth but nothing improved. Instead, her life had become increasingly limited by her phobia and she was extremely unhappy and frustrated.
When Dr. Craig asked her about past trauma with dogs she advised him that she had suffered a minor dogbite when she was about six years old but that she seemed to have had the phobia even before then. She also told him that she had discussed this dogbite incident with previous therapists to no avail and that she did not believe that it was the cause of her problem. She had finally come to see Dr. Craig for hypnotherapy perceiving it to be her last resort since nothing else had worked.
Dr. Craig told us that while doing hypnosis with her he was able to help her regress back to where her uncomfortable feelings began, which turned out to be when she was four years old. Through hypnosis she indicated to him that she had been staying with an aunt in a small town. Her aunt had sent her somewhere to get some meat and on the way back with the meat she was met by a dog. This dog did not harm her in any way but simply took the meat from her. When this four year old girl got back to her aunt, the woman was extremely upset with her. She screamed at the child and then locked her up in a dark shed for several hours. Since that day, she was terrified of dogs.
Using hypnotherapy Dr. Craig was able to help her eliminate her phobia. He ultimately tested her by having her go to a dog pound and, to her delight, she observed that she felt fine and continued to feel that way subsequently around other dogs as well.
There are several important lessons from this story. First of all, this woman had no conscious recollection of this event. That was so either because she was so young when it took place or because it was so traumatic for her or both. However, using hypnosis she was not only able to find the origin of the phobia but she was able to do so easily.
Secondly, the little girl's mind had decided that the best way that it could come up with to avoid getting screamed at and locked up in a dark shed again would be to avoid dogs, especially since she had no idea how to prevent her aunt from treating her in that way when enraged with her. So, as bizarre as this woman's behavior seemed now that she was an adult, when transposed back to the original setting it made perfect sense as did the feelings that she felt and expressed. Interestingly, the cue for the phobia, a dog, had not actually been what directly caused her discomfort.
From this I learned that there are always reasons for feelings and if taken back to their origin they fit the situation. In addition, and very importantly, the behavior that these feelings triggered had a very positive agenda - to protect her from more trauma. At the same time, of course, these retained feelings and accompanying behavior had a significant downside and this downside got bigger and bigger year after year.
Thirdly, having accessed this original trauma she was able to free herself from this limiting defense mechanism and still be safe. Now that she was an adult, her aunt was either dead or, even if she was alive and wanted to treat her in this way again, would almost inevitably have been unable to do so. Dr. Craig's adult patient had lots of options and resources that she did not have as a four year old. Thus she could find less restrictive and more effective means of protecting herself from this kind of harm than when she was four. Having satisfied herself of that fact, she was able to let the feelings and the accompanying defensive behavior go. Furthermore, once the feelings and behavior had been addressed using Dr. Craig's methods they were gone for good and the woman was able to feel comfortable around dogs effortlessly.
Dr. Craig did not explain exactly what he did with this woman to enable her to free herself from her phobia but hearing this story was enough for me and I knew that I wanted to learn more. I recognized great potential in this approach. I spoke briefly with Dr. Craig that weekend and he indicated that his technique was very useful for dealing with phobias. While I agreed, I also sensed that it could be helpful for much, much more. I clearly remember leaving that course nineteen years ago understanding that what I had learned from David Craig's story was going to fundamentally change my life both personally and professionally. And it did.
The other instructor at that course that had a profound effect upon me was Dr. Edgar Barnett.
Dr. Barnett had worked as a family doctor in England and came to Canada in 1966. He continued in family medicine once in Canada but by 1975 was practicing hypnotherapy on a full-time basis. By the time I met Dr. Barnett he had written two books, 'Unlock Your Mind and Be Free' - a book intended for the lay reader presenting the general concepts of his hypnotherapeutic approach - and 'Analytical Hypnotherapy: Principles and Practice' - a textbook intended for professionals interested in applying his technique with their patients. A good website with general information about Dr. Barnett and these two books is http://www.durbinhypnosis.com/barnett.htm.
During my introductory course Dr. Barnett presented many hypnotic inductions and techniques and alluded to some therapeutic options that hypnosis allowed. He was obviously very skilled in helping individuals access their unconscious minds and he had a pleasant professional manner. I was impressed with him but did not engage with him significantly during that weekend.
I returned to my own practice fired up and ready to apply what I had learned during this course. What that actually was at that point was simply teaching people relaxation techniques. I began to offer relaxation therapy within my practice to various patients with stress disorders. They would follow a simple relaxation induction with me lasting about twenty minutes and I would make recordings of these sessions which they then listened to at home once or twice a day. To my pleasant surprise they told me that simply listening to the recording enabled them to feel more at ease both while listening and in general. Relaxation therapy soon became a significant therapeutic tool for me. While I was pleased with its general benefit, I also realized that it was, at best, a coping mechanism with few side-effects and that it was not able to produce results along the lines of what Dr. Craig had talked about in his story.
So, although I was developing some basic and very useful induction skills, my desire for more effective therapeutic options led to my discovery of Dr. Barnett's books. I devoured both of them and carefully learned his method. Dr. Barnett worked largely from a Transactional Analysis / Ego State Therapy treatment perspective, initially developed by Dr. Eric Berne (for information about Transactional Analysis and Dr. Berne see http://www.itaa-net.org/index.htm ).
Once I reached the point that I felt I had an adequate basic grasp of his method I began to apply it with some of my own patients. And it was amazing! It was amazing from three basic perspectives. First of all, it was remarkably easy to get most people to rapidly enter deep states of dissociation and that was interesting just in itself. Secondly, once in such states they were able to connect with information and emotions of all types that simply were not accessible using non-hypnotherapeutic methods. Finally, by dealing with this data they were able to address significant issues and I was able to help them treat a wide variety of physical and psychological problems that previously seemed untreatable (apart from by just trying to control symptoms with medication). I was sold on Dr. Barnett's method and began to dedicate more and more of my practice time to analytical hypnotherapy and in so doing gradually developed my skill and confidence.
Within a few months of beginning to use Dr. Barnett's technique with my clients I decided that I wanted to see him myself as a patient. I was going through an extremely challenging period in my life at that time and recognized that I had many issues that I needed and wanted to address and believed that analytical hypnotherapy would be the most effective way to do so. I was very impressed with the methods that Dr. Barnett had developed and, since he worked a couple of hours from where I lived, I set up an appointment with him.
I saw Dr. Barnett in early 1988 for two appointments during each of which he utilized his hypnotherapeutic approach with me to help me begin to deal with some of my problems. I was able to get into the process easily and found the sessions both very interesting and beneficial. He knew me somewhat from our previous contacts and was aware that I was using his approach with my clients. He was also aware that each time coming to see him was a six hour time investment for me and so at the end of the second session he told me that, while he would be most happy to continue treating me, given my familiarity with his technique, I could actually do it myself. Although his book 'Unlock Your Mind and Be Free' explains generally how to use his method if one does not have access to an analytical hypnotherapist, I had not tried or even significantly considered doing it on my own. However, after his suggestion I began my process of self-hypnotherapy (which I continue to this day) and had no further appointments with Dr. Barnett.
I discovered self-hypnotherapy to be better than hypnotherapy with a therapist for many reasons. To begin with, apart from the obvious time saving regarding going to appointments, I was able to do it whenever I wanted and for as long or short a time as I needed or wanted. Sometimes I only needed to do it for a couple of minutes while at other times I would spend hours at it. If I needed to use the method in the middle of the night I did not have to wait until the next appointment to deal with whatever the problem was. I was able to address issues as soon as they would come up and so I was better able to get back on and stay on track. In addition, using the technique to help me promptly deal with issues and have it consistently be successful in this regard, enhanced my confidence in it and thus my willingness to utilize it earlier and earlier when I experienced discomfort or internal conflict. I came to realize that in order to take full benefit of the approach there was an enormous amount of work to be done with it and so, although I have never turned it into an official routine, there have been few days in the past eighteen years that I have not used it at all.
I learned that the speed of the process increased since I did not have to wait for another person to interact with me. Furthermore, I was able to adapt the method to my own style and was able to eliminate aspects of Dr. Barnett's approach that I did not like or agree with and so I made it fit me better. I have never felt as if I needed to seek further assistance with the method over all of this time. Being able to do this myself has had a very self-empowering impact upon me. Perhaps the most important thing that I learned by doing this myself has been to allow my unconscious mind to lead me in the process and to not attempt to consciously control it.
Because I have done thousands of hours of self-hypnotherapy and dealt with many, many issues in this process, in addition to the thousands of hours that I have spent using the approach with patients, I have developed a tremendous understanding of it from the perspective of both the therapist and the subject to a degree that I could never have gained if I had not done it myself. I have spent the last eighteen years liberating myself and others from many cages and have become very good at this. I have come to the point that I can do it essentially intuitively and am able to maneuver through the internal prison system far more effectively than I could initially. I realize now that most of the new technical developments that I eventually applied to others I had already tried out on myself to find out how effective they would be. Furthermore, I discovered that many of these new developments were simply the result of trial and error or were presented to me by my unconscious through the process of self-hypnosis.
Soon after beginning to do self-hypnosis, I started to recognize some of its advantages compared to having to do it with a therapist, as I listed above. In addition, I believed that if I could learn to do this myself, others could as well. Thus, I made the goal of my hypnotherapy practice to teach my clients analytical self-hypnosis. My plan was to introduce them to the method and then get them started until they reached the point that they sufficiently understood it and were confident enough in their own abilities to continue to use it independently indefinitely (as I believed anyone would who truly understood its potential), with the idea that they could reconnect with me as needed. It seemed obvious to me that otherwise, in order to fully exploit the method, I would be seeing only a handful of clients for the rest of their lives and my career (again assuming that they wanted to take full advantage of it).
With this in mind, my initial focus was on the technique itself. I had started with Dr. Barnett’s approach that he presented in his two books that I mentioned above. The style of the technique described there was quite therapist-dependent and my objective was to enable people to do this independently. In addition, I learned while working with clients in my practice that I was not satisfied using the ego-state Transactional Analysis model that Dr. Barnett operated from.
As well, I learned largely from my own self-hypnosis that the method could be done at least as effectively, if not more so, without verbalization and even without involving any significant data processing at a conscious level. I discussed this on one occasion early on with Dr. Barnett who acknowledged this fact but at that point at least he continued to use an approach which strongly encouraged both verbalization and conscious processing of data including re-experiencing the feelings of past traumatic events. I believed that a method that encouraged or required verbalization and conscious processing or reliving discomfort would simply limit the quality of results of my clients. Furthermore, my goal was to have them do this themselves while his method was more tailored to an office setting.
On this theme, it is interesting to note that Dr. Barnett has very recently written a new book, ‘The Rapid Reintegration Procedure’, with Dr. John R. Tkach. On reading this book I discovered that all of the major changes that he has made to his approach over the fifteen or more years since I was last in contact with him, I include routinely in my method or use as needed. In particular he has diminished the importance of verbalization, data sharing, and conscious data processing although not to the degree that my method uses. Overall, however, his method is still very therapist oriented and Transactional Analysis based.
All of this being said, I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to Dr. Barnett both personally and professionally. I would have had no idea where to begin without him and his method. Furthermore, the technique that I offer to this day is still very much based on the one that I learned from him. While I believe that I have improved and enhanced it, I also appreciate that he has been able to do excellent work using his method and has taught it to many other professionals who have used it with great benefit for their clients. I invite you to read his books in order to see where I started and see where he is now and to compare our approaches.
The process of transforming a therapist-based approach to a do-it-yourself method forced me to break it down to its basics and in so doing to analyze the nature of what the technique was and should be all about - it’s fundamental goal. Over a period of time I realized that it’s objective is to update out-of-date responses - terms that I developed myself.
Rather than just going back into the past and exploring past trauma, which I understood from first and second hand experience to be a potential swamp that one could get lost in, I made the approach to be completely present focused. Using my model of ‘Peter and the stove’ (It is not a true story (for me) as far as I know, although I did meet a client along the way whose husband had exactly Peter’s experience and developed just the type of responses that my story describes. She told me that upon hearing the story a lot of things about his behavior started making sense to her.), I tried to explain how we have emotional reactions to cues in our lives and that these responses were developed due to past events and also how these emotions and their resultant behaviors prevent us from optimally dealing with and experiencing the present - therefore out-of date responses. Once one knows the technique of Unconscious Updating (UU) one can apply it to change any out-of-date response. Since there are a great many of these out-of-date responses one will virtually always have something to work on.
In his new book Dr. Barnett seems to have come to the same conclusions independently:
"‘Analytical Hypnotherapy: Principles and Practice’ (1981) was written for the professional hypnotherapist and introduced tools (including the induction of hypnosis) for discovering and comforting these distressed ego states, thus enabling them to become reintegrated into the host personality. Over the years since the publication of these works I have been able to refine these tools with the objective of increasing their success rate and of reducing time required for a less complex therapy. During these years the computer has come of age and now dominates a part of each of our lives. From it we have learned that it operates using complex programs. We have also learned that these programs that were originally extremely effective can, when greater demands than were originally conceived are placed upon them, become outdated and inefficient and create new problems for the functioning of the computer. So it is that the tools described in this book define and locate the kinds of programmes (sic) which were originally designed to deal with early life problems but fail utterly to deal with the present. They require to be updated or replaced if they are to be comfortably and fully effective."
I was both surprised and pleased to discover that Dr. Barnett is utilizing even the same terminology that I have been using since the early 1990's to define what I have been teaching my clients - Unconscious Updating.
Over the period of several years, the technique of UU evolved into its present form in my medical practice and has not changed since. While stylistic changes can be made, overall I know that this is an extremely effective method for updating responses and I have taught it to many people to their benefit and also in many cases to their amazement. I do not sense the need of any fundamental change to this technique - it works.
In the early years of my hypnotherapeutic practice it was my naive belief that once an individual understood UU and its potential value, this person would inevitably embrace it and spend the rest of its life using it very regularly to eliminate its out-of-date responses that were holding back its self-actualization and thus solve its physical and psychological problems that were diminishing the quality of its life. I was wrong.
When I went to see Dr. Barnett at his office the first time I told him how excited I was about his approach and how much potential I perceived that it had for treating many different types of problems. He told me that he shared this viewpoint but he also warned me to expect many failures with it as well. I appreciated the advice and eventually experienced these failures for myself in my practice. Analyzing these failures as best as I could led me to the conclusion that in almost every case the problem was not with the technique but with its application, or more accurately its lack of application.
I observed individuals who had problems that both they and I knew could be solved with UU but, nonetheless, they did not solve them. Instead they lived with and put up with the problems. More and more I came to understand that UU is simply a tool that one may choose to use or not use. My role was to introduce my clients to the tool and to teach them how to use it independently as effectively as possible. Ultimately, the rest was up to them. I could no more do it for them than I could if I was introducing them to an exercise machine to help them get into better physical shape.
Obviously I could and did encourage my clients, looking for different ways to provide motivational support, however, the bottom line was ultimately always the same - they each had to decide for themselves what they were and were not prepared to put up with. On one hand, as I came to terms with this reality, this was quite liberating for me in that I was better able to limit myself to my appropriate degree of responsibility in therapeutic dynamic. On the other hand, I came to the frustrating realization that the method that I was offering could help them solve their various problems effectively but also that this was never going to happen for the overwhelming majority of them because they were not prepared to do what was required to have that take place. I saw many people make superficial changes but few that really took significant advantage of what I was offering them.
In the meantime, I was busy updating myself and by discovering how much I had been able to change and accomplish myself, I further appreciated the potential of the method. This further diminished my willingness to settle for mediocre results in my work. All of this led me to develop my approach to involve more than just instruction in UU.
Since I realized, in part due to UU, that everything has a rational explanation, I decided to understand why almost everyone is willing to put up with a poor quality of existence even when given the opportunity for much more. This led me to do a great deal of thinking as well as a great deal of reading in many different areas - particularly in philosophy, psychology, biology, history, cosmology, anthropology, political science, and archeology. Just as there was an explanation for the woman who was afraid of dogs, I believed that there was one for humanity's present pathetic state and its willingness to accept this state.
One of the first changes that occurred in my approach as a result of this exploration was the creation of the concept of the True Positive Individual. Since UU is all about changing responses that are out-of-date, the question emerges - what defines a response as being out-of-date in the first place? Obviously, in some sense, that is up to each individual to define for itself, however, my observations led me to conclude that people with certain characteristics seemed to have less of the problems that I was being presented with in my office than others who lacked these characteristics.
The list of characteristics of the True Positive Individual that you will find in my book essentially popped into my head (undoubtedly after much unconscious analysis on my part) and I began presenting it to my clients as being the objective of what I was there to offer them if their goal was to become healthy overall. I, therefore, defined out-of-date responses as being those that do no meet the standards of the True Positive Individual and the process became all about identifying such responses over the course of one’s life and updating them and in so doing gradually transforming oneself into one’s True Positive Self.
I came to realize that the majority of problems that were being presented to me would require a general overhauling of the patients’ systems and so it seemed reasonable to me to approach them from this perspective. On the relatively rare occasion that this was not the case, I was willing to focus on whatever the isolated issue was that I was being presented with. In addition, I discovered that in order to deal with the problems that I was being asked to help with one would generally have to do a repair job from the foundation up, and so I decided to do whatever I could to facilitate fixing the foundation as early into the process as possible in order to optimize results.
For the most part, therefore, my practice transformed from one all about simply teaching UU and then continuing on one’s own to a practice dedicated to helping individuals become their True Positive Selves and using UU to facilitate that process. Few clients disagreed with the list of values that I presented as being worth pursuing. Similarly, few were seriously interested in pursuing them and, even those who stated that they were, almost all were ultimately willing to fundamentally betray these values and to do so indefinitely.
What happened as a result of all of this is that once I obtained a general understanding of why a new client was in my office and the presumed relevance of that to what I was offering, I would then clarify the objective of my method (i.e. becoming one’s True Positive Self) and then enquire if the client was prepared to make a commitment to itself to this goal. If the client did not make this commitment or, despite its statements to the contrary, if it was my assessment that it did not, I indicated to the client that I saw no point in either the client or myself investing time or energy in my method and we stopped there until that changed. It became abundantly clear to me that we were there to work together and if we did not a have a common commitment to a shared objective there was no point to the process.
In the relatively few cases where such a commitment was made, I then proceeded to introduce the client to UU and to teach the method. Overall, by using this approach much better results were achieved and much less time was wasted by clients or myself. In addition, this strategy significantly diminished the inaccurate concept in clients’ minds that the problem was with the UU technique when in fact it was all about their lack of commitment to self-actualization. As a result, what I understood to be the major obstacle to well-being in the lives of my clients had been defined, thus enabling them to clarify what needed to take place if they truly were interested in becoming well.
My practice changed dramatically as a result of all of this and relatively few of the people who came to see me ever got to the point of learning UU. However, those that did moved forward more rapidly and effectively in dealing with their problems and becoming independent with the method.
The other major change that took place as a function of defining the objective - becoming one’s True Positive Self and its list of characteristics - is that I came to realize that not only did one have to change one’s emotional responses but that one also had to change one’s rational system. We typically have many ideas and concepts that are inaccurate and out-of-date for many reasons and these out-of-date ideas color our perception of reality and determine our approach to it as well as our assessment of our emotional responses.
For example, if Peter in my story lived in a world where everyone believed that kitchens truly were terrible dangerous places, it is highly unlikely that he would question the out datedness of his kitchen response and thus, despite knowing UU, would never update this response. It became overwhelmingly clear to me that in almost every case for individuals to optimize their use of UU they would have to re-examine their ideas and then update their rational systems. Once this was done they would need to update their emotional responses in order to integrate their rational and emotional systems so that both systems were up-to-date and appropriate in order to best enable them to self-actualize and enjoy life.
The product of this realization was the renaming of what I was offering my clients. The term Rational-Emotional Integrative Updating was born. I understood that without updating the rational system insufficient change will occur despite the knowledge and use of UU. However, I also knew that simply changing the rational system without updating emotional responses, which UU does remarkably effectively (and more effectively than any other method that I am aware of), is also insufficient for one to achieve self-actualization and well-being.
In that same time period I decided that I wanted to leave Canada, largely due to tremendous frustrations with the socialist nature of that society and decided to move to the USA (with its own significant collection of problems), which I did in 1997. Although I had been working for several years full-time as an analytical hypnotherapist, in order to enter the USA I needed to do so as a family physician, which I also did.
In the subsequent years, while I have earned a living practicing the usual style of western medicine, I have continued pursuing my interest in REIU. Besides my dislike of socialism, I also came to the USA with the idea that people there might be more open to the potential that REIU offered than Canadians who are, for the most part, a fairly complacent lot. That has proven to be partially true.
My investigation of the causes of generalized human apathy concerning the achievement of well-being ultimately led to me understanding, after I had already moved to the USA, the reality of human animal domestication due to the process of civilization. As a function of this, I also came to recognize the common heritage of almost all humans as being the descendants of slaves and, in fact, slaves themselves. This realization enabled me to make much more sense out of many aspects of what I observed around me and, in particular, allowed me to better understand the issues regarding the reasons for the ‘failures’ of my approach.
I came to understand that the core question that an individual faces is whether to be true to itself or to betray itself. Slavery is all about self-betrayal and our slave heritage and reality must be rejected if we are to become truly alive and healthy and, above all, our genuine selves. Each person must make this decision by itself. The decision is about becoming an untamed wild animal or remaining a domesticated civilized animal.
Even more than before, I came to understand that there are very few humans interested in or prepared to do what it takes to untame themselves. I also realized that these few are the ones that I am most interested in investing my energy in and offering my method to. I decided to present it in a written format and to put it out to a worldwide audience, hoping to reach such people wherever they might happen to be - both of which I have now done. The initial community that I offered my approach to lived in a small Canadian town and now I have expanded the population that has access to it to include the whole world. Even with such a large possible number of clients and with such an empowering method, I still have only a few individuals who are interested or willing to do what it takes, even when I offer it effectively free of charge. Such is reality.
Along the way, I have had the opportunity to work with number of courageous individuals and many who have benefitted from this approach even if not to the full degree possible. I am including some of their comments about their self-transformation experiences below (which I will also add to the web forum under the heading ‘My Experience with UU’). I personally have profited from REIU tremendously and divide my life into the period before I took that first course in 1987, until which I was trapped in my labyrinth of cages, and my exciting adventure since during which I have been tearing down wall after wall.
I wish to thank Dr. Craig, Dr. Barnett, my many clients, and everyone else who has helped me over the years in this process. My greatest acknowledgment of appreciation goes to my uncivilized wife, Arelys, who has been instrumental in the evolution of REIU and is in many respects its co-developer.
The following are the comments of some of those that I have worked with using this evolving method:
"While trying to find a way to thank you for providing a way to rid myself of all the years of pain I've suffered due to migraine headaches, I ask you to consider for just a moment the difference this therapy has made in my life. Five years ago when I first met you, I was taking 40 Fiorinal or Tylenol with Codeine tablets in less than every two week period and had been for years. In addition, there was also the blood pressure pills, antidepressants, etc., etc., all with their own set of side effects and still I was having pain on almost a daily basis. Now I take the odd extra-strength aspirin and Gravol to handle the occasional short-lived headache. This in itself is cause for celebration, and in this vein my liver, kidneys, and colon thank you for this therapy. It's great to be alive and feel as healthy as the proverbial horse!
I know that you feel that you didn't ‘do’ much of anything, that I handled most of what I had to face from within myself, but I wanted you to know that one of the most important things you did for me was to point out that my reactions to certain realizations were indeed normal and appropriate, given the situation, and you did this at a time when I thought I would never again achieve any degree of normalcy in my life. Knowing that you understood what was happening to me when I had little idea what was going on was, in itself, a tremendous comfort. From this viewpoint, my ever-awakening brain and emotions thank you.
As for that part of me which is always saying ‘no’ and seems to be rejecting help from all sources, I feel that it is fighting a losing battle. The sum of the rest of the parts of my personality are definitely stronger and seeking the help that is needed. I appreciate you taking the time to show me that there are better ways (and less painful ones) to face and handle my problems other than the ones that I have been unknowingly utilizing throughout my entire life. It's exciting to know this self-applied therapy will be part of a life-long, on-going process and that although the office appointments are coming to an end, the therapy is not.
Incidentally. I know the therapy is working because I seem to be looking at many things (past and present) from a totally different perspective (more objectively perhaps?) than before and therefore drawing entirely different conclusions. Thank you for showing me how to tap the resources within myself.
So here's to breaking down walls and barriers and to expanding personal horizons! You've helped me through one of the most difficult periods of my life and left me with a very special and valuable tool which will always be there for me to use whenever I feel the need to use it." - D.
"I feel very inadequate in expressing my profound gratitude for the inspiration and guidance you have given me. For the first time in my life I can sincerely say that I feel confident in my ability to face life with hope, enthusiasm and joy!
I hope you will continue your superb work in Rational-Emotional Integrative Updating. You do make a tremendous difference in people's lives." - L.
"Where do I begin to thank you for being my mentor in search of the positive self?
This past year has produced the most change in my entire life and for the first time I feel alive and truthful with my feelings.
Thank you for removing the veneer on what I thought was reality. Long live change and flux within my own skin." - W.
"I wanted to say thank you to you for developing this wonderful tool to enhance human growth. Learning the self-hypnosis technique, although it was difficult at times, has helped me to deal with the challenges of the past year (and years gone by). It has created a greater self-awareness and it has made me realize how important it is to maintain high self esteem.
I congratulate you for recognizing the need for this tool and wish you all the best as you continue to explore and lead the way in human development and new health care techniques." - J.
"I wanted to thank you for the past two years. It has been an interesting process to feel the layers of frustration, anger and narrow attitude melt away, to a large extent, and to have them replaced by a calmness and ease.
Peter, I very much appreciated your comments and insights and patience. It is good to have a process which can be used repeatedly as the occasions arise. It has worked and continues to work for me." - K.
"This is a letter of appreciation. Before learning self hypnosis, I have had two years of counselling and a strong desire to change my way of thinking and ultimately change my way of living. Albeit at the beginning of my counselling the hardest thing to achieve was accepting the fact that my life will change and change for the better. Once I exhausted what I call my 'surface awareness', I quickly realized that there was a lot more than just learning to deal with what I consciously understood my problems to be.
After my first session with self hypnosis, almost one year ago, I soon found that there was a quick and painless way to 'feel good' inside. There were lots of tears of pain under self hypnosis, there still is, but I soon learned that while I cried under self hypnosis, once I was finished I felt no pain, only a sense of release and something like accomplishment and forgiveness combined. I do recall times that once a session was over and until my next session I was in a state of what feels like limbo, a numbness if you would like. While at the time I was unsure of what was happening to me, I now realize that at the end of a particular session (or two), my subconscious was not completely finished dealing with what it had to do, but the time for my session was over so I was, I guess you could call it, 'put on hold' until my next session. When my next session arrived, we picked up where we left off.
Self hypnosis is a wonderful thing to learn, not only did I learn a lot from the sessions of doing self hypnosis, but there were sessions where I merely talked for the entire time and at those moments things hit home as well. I could write pages concerning the things I have learned, but I think there are two things that will be most important to me. First, you do not have to accept things as they are, you can block, ignore or whatever you wish to call it, but the choice is yours, continue on as you are or change things that you want changed. Secondly, self awareness is an ongoing event. Self hypnosis, for me, will be an ongoing event.
So once again, I want to thank you for your help. Although it has taken me a year to achieve the confidence to do self hypnosis on my own, and knowing that I still have to deal with my most underlying cause/problem, the phrase I will most remember is 'I feel...' This is something I cannot remember really doing.
If asked, after a year and knowing what I now know, would I start self hypnosis again, I would answer, '... after the tears and wasted mascara, the early Saturday mornings and the long bus rides, I would pray that I would have the sense to start it sooner.'" - V.
"Most of my life was spent feeling sad and often times depressed. I always felt that this was me and accepted it. I also accepted sexual and physical abuse, accepting blame for everything, accepted the comments that I was just too sensitive, too stupid. My feelings were very fragile, too timid to take control of my life. Accepting all the emotional abuse. When I did succeed with anything of significance I worried that someone would find out that I truly was stupid, making me feel both ashamed and fearful. Being left handed was an added shame and embarrassment at school and elsewhere. Throughout my childhood I was made to feel, and believe, that I was a bad girl. It was proven to me over and over again.
At 64 years of age you gave me the means to unlock so many buried memories. To discover almost overwhelming hurts, pain, and truths about myself. I was a good girl and what happened to me was not my fault. I feel as if I have been reborn. I have a peace and contentment and more confidence in myself. I can laugh at me and not feel destroyed by criticism. It's an amazing yet comfortable feeling and I'm not afraid that it won't last. It keeps getting better. I no longer try to avoid the painful experiences but let them come. I know that I have the power to change the responses. I know that I have experiences from the past that hurt, I know that some make me very emotional but I now know how to deal with them.
Thank you so very much for giving me the key to unlock the door and begin to get rid of all the garbage." - D.
"When I think back to how I used my coping mechanism (checking) for hours at a time, never really finding any peace of mind just comfort for a few minutes, I know I've grown.
When I think back to starting therapy, and my feeling that I was different from other people and that something was wrong with me but not knowing what, I know I've grown.
When I think back to the years of working in an unhealthy situation and how that's different now, I know I've grown.
When I remember my fake smile that hid my pain from the rest of the world for so many years, and helped me remain in my pretend world that everything was OK when very deep down inside I was crumbling, I know I've grown.
When today I'm able to live medication free, I know I've grown.
When I am now able to have thoughts of the horrid childhood incest which I kept blocked in my subconscious for so so many years, I know I've grown.
When I think of how my father took me as a very young child, hurt me so terribly and made me one of the silenced ones, and now as I work toward ending the fear and silence, I know I've grown.
And today when I know that I still have areas which require work and growth but I realize more than ever that it's OK not to be perfect but just to be me, I know I've truly changed.
Thanks for everything." - A.
Best Regards,
Peter Hercules
www.untamedlife.com
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