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LIBERATING THE CAGED FEMALE HUMAN ANIMAL'S SEXUALITY (PART 1)
The essence of civilization is domination - human domination of nature in general as well as human domination of other humans. While virtually all civilized humans have existed as the domesticated animal property of the select few zookeepers of the human zoos, there can be no doubt that the sexuality of the domination agenda of civilization has been male. Civilization has been a patriarchal regime - devoted to male domination of females.
The issue at the core of the patriarchy is the sexual repression of women. If one looks at the events that trigger the most violent emotional responses of men towards women and also of men towards other men, one will note that they relate to controlling female sexuality. While this behavior has been largely attributed to the males' attempts to ensure paternity and thus not waste the investment of their resources in children not related to them, it appears that there are also other very important factors.
Central to this topic is the nature of female sexuality itself. In our closest relatives, the bonobo and common chimpanzees, females are noted to have sexual relations with many males and in the case of the bonobos with females as well. Monogamy is non-existent in these cousins of ours and it is not unusual for them to have sex with several different partners in rapid succession. The phenomenon of sperm warfare, whereby sperm placed by different males compete with each other in the vagina to attempt to achieve fertilization, is found in these chimps and also in our species.
In the common chimpanzee culture, which is patriarchal, males attempt to control females' sexuality through violence towards both the females and competing males. Despite this fact, it has been shown that the females will often choose their own partner, thus thwarting the males' control attempts.
The bonobos have a matriarchal culture, which results in a different approach to sexuality. The key characteristic of this culture is females bonding with females. Due to this bonding, males are unable to physically dominate females because any attempt to do so results in a male having to confront a collection of females that can overpower him. As a result, females have sex with the males they choose. Even the remarkable phenomenon of having sex with males from other tribes in front of males of their own tribe is documented. Clearly, such behavior indicates females being in control of their own sexuality.
As a result of this female sexual independence, bonobos are observed to be the 'sexiest' species on the planet. Females engage in sexual activity of varying types in great frequency with males, females, and even with young bonobos. Sexuality has been highly integrated into this female sex positive culture so that it is commonly used as a means for conflict resolution. In addition, of course, this culture is very pleasure oriented and, while having violence, has it to a remarkably minor degree.
For their part, bonobo males are frequently sexually active with females but also with their own sex and with young bonobos. It should be understood that this sexual activity does not necessarily involve intercourse (most notably not with juvenile bonobos). They appear to be having all of the sex that they want and, due to the tension-resolving effect of sex, do not appear to be in any way frustrated with their lack of female sexual domination. In fact, they are having much more sex than their patriarchal common chimpanzee cousins. As for the issue of paternity, one would assume that the females choose to breed with those males that they find most attractive for whatever reason and when the additional factor of sperm warfare is added, the best males (from these perspectives) go forward.
The key factor, again, in the bonobo culture to allow all of this to take place is females bonding with each other. This bonding results not only from their physical proximity (due to their foraging style) but also due to activities which enhance their sense of closeness. Central to this is the phenomenon of mentorship among the females. Typically an older female will take on a younger one in a mentoring role. They will spend a great deal of time together during which the younger female benefits not only by observing the behaviors of her mentor but also through the advantages of status that such an association brings. In addition, these two will engage in grooming behaviors and, very significantly, establish a sexual relationship as well. Thus a sense of physical and pleasure bonding is established between the two and as a result a threat to one is felt as a threat to the other resulting in appropriate supportive and protective behaviors.
Furthermore, because the females have the capacity to experience significant sexual pleasure with their own sex, they do not see themselves as being dependent on males to obtain such pleasure. Such interfemale connectedness occurs outside of the mentorship dynamic as well, leading to widespread bonding among the females of the tribe. Against such a force, the males cannot dominate and simply reap the benefits of the culture that it produces.
All of this relates to humans as well. While paternity is, no doubt, a significant factor driving males' desire to control female sexuality, another factor that is typically ignored is the very nature of human female sexuality. Males' attempts (typically not overly successful) to enforce fidelity upon females are driven by an intuitive understanding of the unnaturalness of such behavior.
To begin with, males typically have exempted themselves from the restrictions of fidelity and have excused their conduct on the grounds of biological imperative. However, they have ignored the females' biological realities and have created a mythology regarding female sexuality. Things have degenerated to such a degree in this regard that a widespread perception was created that women were incapable of experiencing significant sexual pleasure and that their only interest in having sex at all was to trap a man into commitment. If this were true then why do men go to such lengths to control women's sexual behavior?
The reality, of course, is that this concept is simply a big lie. Women actually have a greater sexual capacity than men and men are threatened by this fact. Biological reality indicates that a woman has a much greater capacity than a man for prolonged sex, multiple sexual partners, multiple orgasms, and greater intensity of sexual pleasure.
She may not only have a greater capacity for all of this but also a greater need. Women's natural tremendous sexual capacities and the reality of sperm warfare in the human vagina suggest that we are in many ways built like our chimpanzee cousins. Females have greater sexual needs to enable them to enhance their genetic options for the very significant investment they make in their offspring. More sex means more and different sperm with the best sperm winning the sperm wars. The best sperm has the best chance of enabling the egg and the resources invested in it to produce a successful offspring. A successful offspring in evolutionary terms is one that lives to produce a line of descendants.
In addition, apart from the female's greater endurance and fulfillment per sexual event, she also has the ability to engage more frequently both in the shorter and longer term - and men know this. The average male hits his sexual peak at age eighteen and then suffers a gradual slide from then on with a significant proportion becoming dysfunctional and nonfunctional in their forties and fifties. Women, on the other hand, are felt to be just hitting their sexual stride in their forties and can go on virtually indefinitely throughout their lives. Obviously, the male and female sexual patterns are not in synch - undermining the 'naturalness' of male-imposed monogamy.
Males, realizing this, have done everything in their power to dominate and repress the powerful female sexual force, thinking that they somehow would benefit by doing so. The majority of the destructive behavior displayed by our species can be traced back to this very issue of males' attempts to control female sexuality. When we compare our species' reality to that of the bonobos it would appear that we have chosen the wrong approach.
The only males that benefit from such a strategy are losers, those who have low probability of reproducing in a 'free-market' sexual system. Highly desirable males will have no trouble finding high quality sexual partners and thus ensure their genes' continuance.
Given the present reality, however, how does an individual female liberate herself from this sexually dominating system? We only need to look to the bonobos for the fundamental answer - female bonding. If human females establish connection with other females, they have the ability to liberate themselves from male domination and thus sexual repression.
Obviously this female bonding must happen at various levels to be effective. They must spend time with each other, share their experiences, and offer their moral and physical support when needed to help each others' pursuit of liberation and self-actualization.
Like the bonobos, to be effective, a very important aspect of female bonding should be physical in both a nonsexual as well as a sexual manner. Bonding cannot be complete or effective without physical contact. It is fundamental to our nature to need touch for our nurturing and development. This touch can be of many different styles, involving various kinds of play and work activities as well as grooming of many types. When this connection of touch has been established, the other person is no longer disconnected and a genuine feeling of bonding is established.
While nonsexual physical contact is very important and powerful, there can be no doubt that adding sexual physical interaction takes bonding to another level. Women have the ability to give each other sexual pleasure in a manner that they cannot experience with men.
To begin with, they have an understanding of their bodies and responses that enables them to anticipate and stimulate each other in a way that a man cannot match no matter how interested or skilled he may be. As a result, a woman may give another woman sexual pleasure of a greater duration, frequency, and intensity than she could have with a man. As one woman put it, "Sex with a man is nice but sex with a woman is incredible!" Women have the capacity for sexual play with each other that is not related to performance or ownership and not threatened by reproduction or the male post-ejaculatory state. Sex between women can be pure pleasurable fun - sex for sex's sake.(It merits stating that what is being referred to here is not a monogamous romantic lesbian sexual relationship (i.e. a same-sex version of a typical civilized male-female sexual relationship). Instead what is being presented is females simply bonding by sharing sexual pleasure.)
Experiencing this degree of sexual pleasure with another woman has many ramifications. First of all, the woman learns that her body has the ability to have this more complete pleasurable experience, giving her a knowledge of her sexual potential. Just knowing that the potential for this feeling resides within her empowers her and attracts her to a pleasure oriented agenda.
In addition, having had this degree of pleasure gives her a standard to aim towards in any sexual encounter that she may have with either sex. Knowing that this pleasure came from an interaction with a woman frees her from the concept that she must have a man to experience sexual pleasure and thus gives her sexual options when dealing with the patriarchal system.
If she chooses to relate sexually with men, she will presumably do so with those that most closely help her approximate her previously experienced state of ecstasy, thus putting pressure on males to interact with her due to their ability to provide her with pleasure rather than by dominating her.
If she chooses to seek her sexual satisfaction with women either purely for reasons of pleasure or because of male-female sexual political issues she will not be unfulfilled sexually.
If she should choose to have a child, she can decide to have sex with males who most closely meet her genetic and pleasure agendas.
Having had her most intense sexual experiences with another woman will, of course, cement the links between these women and thus fulfill the basic requirement that makes the whole system work - bonding between females. This bonding, created at such a fundamental experiential level, can then be used to develop the capacity for sharing in terms of other life responsibilities to the extent that these women would need and wish.
With this structure in place, the potential for a pleasure oriented society can begin. In this society, women would be free to develop in every sense. Their healthy tremendous positive sexual energy would be at last unleashed for them to personally enjoy and share and to enhance their state of well-being.
Once males eventually learned that their attempts at enslaving female sexual energy were doomed due to the bonding of these physically connected females, they would begin to allow themselves to enjoy the pleasure that such a different approach to life could bring. As a result, virtually every aspect of human society would change.
Liberating female sexuality is the key not only to breaking the patriarchy but also to ending the whole anti-life regime of domination and its resultant zoo of civilization.
(In Part 2 of this article, I will explore and elaborate on this theme further.)
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